Alex Robertson reports
Since this is an entirely fictional scenario about an imaginary squash player, I’ve taken the liberty of borrowing traits from both current and retired professionals. Some choices will be obvious, and others might spark debate, which is exactly what happened with my friends. We had a blast discussing who deserved which attribute!
Now, when I say “attributes,” I’m talking broadly—it’s not just about forehands and backhands. I’m pulling in everything from creativity to consistency, flair to fight.
Ready? Let’s dive in!
Ali Farag’s Consistency
Farag’s consistency is legendary. He’s been World No.1 for ages, and if you’ve watched him play, you know why. He rarely makes mistakes, playing conservatively with pinpoint accuracy. His win rate, even after losing the first game, is absurdly high. Consistency like his is essential for my ultimate player.
Diego Elias’ Movement
Elias moves with such effortless grace that it seems like he’s floating on court. His long legs help him cover ground efficiently, conserving energy for those critical moments. His fluidity makes movement look deceptively easy, but it’s the result of endless practice. My ultimate player needs to move like this!
Hania El Hammamy’s Fight
When Hania is down in a game, the fire in her shows. You know things are about to get intense when she lets out one of her signature screams. Her ability to dig deep and fight back is a game-changer, and my ultimate player definitely needs that tenacity.
Ramy Ashour’s Deception & Creativity
Ramy Ashour, ‘The Artist,’ was all about the unexpected. His creativity on court was unmatched, keeping opponents guessing with his wild shot selection. He wasn’t just playing squash—he was painting masterpieces. My player has to have Ramy’s flair for deception.
Nour El Sherbini’s Attacking Style
The ‘Warrior Princess’ is a relentless attacker. El Sherbini consistently pressures opponents with early volleys, pace, and low, hard kills. She keeps her opponents on edge, and this aggressive style is exactly what I need for my ultimate squash player.
Youssef Ibrahim’s Power
Ibrahim’s left-handed power is something to behold. His explosive shots leave opponents scrambling. Pairing power with attacking play is a lethal combination, and my ultimate player will be unstoppable with it.
Joel Makin’s Fitness
The ‘Golden Tiger’ might just be the fittest man in squash. His grueling training regime keeps him in peak condition, and that endurance gives him the upper hand in marathon matches. My player needs that level of fitness to stay sharp when others start fading.
Karim Abdel Gawad’s Touch
‘The Baby-Faced Assassin’ is a master at soft touches and deceptive flicks. His racquetwork is sublime, making him a fan favourite and a joy to watch. A player with Gawad’s touch can win points and entertain the crowd—essential qualities for my dream player.
Nour El Tayeb’s Retrieval & Flexibility
Nour El Tayeb could get to impossible balls with her flexibility, often executing full splits to make a save. Her speed and ability to recover from such stretches make her a retrieval queen. My player needs that agility to keep rallies alive.
Amr Shabana’s Left Hand
Left-handers are tricky, and Shabana was one of the best. His wristy shots and sharp angles made him dangerous. A left-handed player adds an extra layer of unpredictability, so that’s a must for my ultimate squash player.
Amanda Sobhy’s Spirit
Despite multiple Achilles injuries, Amanda Sobhy’s positivity never wavers. Her resilience and optimism inspire everyone around her. My player needs that unwavering spirit to bounce back stronger after setbacks.
Miguel Rodriguez’s Passion
At 38, the ‘Colombian Cannonball’ is still going strong, purely out of love for the game. His infectious passion lights up the court and feeds off the crowd’s energy. My player must share that undying love for squash to keep playing at the highest level, just like Miguel.
